Having a Breakdown

Not a mental one and not a physical one….yet!

It started with the washer. Not a good sign when one opens the lid to find a pile of wet clothing and the display panel flashing some combo of letters to let you know what is wrong. Could that code be printed on the door panel? Heck no, you have to go searching through the stack of manuals to find the right one, still not throwing out the old ones for remotes long gone and coffee makers whose carafe is all that remains (would make a good watering can someday). Genius at work here could probably tell you that it is not spinning therefore not draining, but best to get a professional second opinion. Yep, no drain means big pain. Call repairman….bad. Spending a few forced hours of down time at the laundry mat….good! Except the lady there is really into Matlock so I caught up on some past episode I must have missed in the ‘80’s.

Big oil spot on garage floor…bad. Look under car…not good. Call tow truck and repairman. I think this is God’s way of saying “stay home you idiot, and get those presents wrapped and pick up the piles of stuff or you sure has heck will trip over something and really mess things up!” Well okay, I don’t think God really talks that way….okay, yes I do and it is called the inner voice of reason. Which is really just my way of justifying all these little “inconveniences” without getting all wacked out about it because….

….refrigerator bombs are the worst! Sitting at the kitchen table, I hear a big noise as if my kid had thrown his size 16 shoe from the office to the kitchen and it bounced off a cabinet. Having checked out that possibility and confirmed it as a negative, I began a sweep for landmines. Even the cat was on high alert (or else I nearing the food dish and hopes were running high). I heard another boom but nothing was visible. We have a ghost but that is another story, he lives in my oven vent. Nearing the fridge, the only possible source, I cautiously open the door….. bad. Reflexes at my age…..still good or I would have had a sour cream shower. That puppy came flying out the door. Inside I found the evidence of pop bombs. …all over the inside and running down the shelves. Words out of my mouth…bad. (very bad). Seems the thermostat had a bit of a breakdown and froze all the pop cans. In an anti global warming moment, the expanding glacier demo was quite successful as they escaped the confines of their man made aluminum casings to set themselves free! This week’s Nobel Prize for scientific invention goes to the wipes in a container guy….he’s the best.

Today, I shall wander my house and give the stink eye to all things mechanical. The next one that decides to blow a gasket, or a belt, or a circuit or whatever else runs their evil little innards, is getting kicked to the curb!