April First Friday Wrap-up

This past April First Friday was our best yet! Thanks to all the PR from Dan Kane and the Rep, we had people coming in just to see the store and participate in our project, many who had never ventured to the west coast before.  Hopefully we can keep that energy flowing. Letter Press Jess and Canton Clothing open officially next month so our little corner will be the place the BE!  Maybe the new tree wraps helped bring good karma as the olds one had faded. Our birds were certainly a happy flock (and Booger the squirrel even got into the new feeders like his own personal seed scooper).  The sunflowers are starting to poke thru the grates (or were until the snow came), but spring is here and so are new creations from our studios.

Our Community Participation Project was “We are of one cloth”, which asked visitors to decorate a 5” square of fabric that I will sew into a wall hanging/quilt.  Now people…… do I really have to spell out exactly what is expected? I can’t count the number of people that read my sign asking for participation in a “community quilt’ and they thought I was expecting them to sew.  Once that fear passed, most were willing give it a try. Stamps and pads were provided (giving a little head start on design options) plus markers and crayons. The results are incredible and not one inappropriate or censor worthy one in the bunch. However….your work stations were left in a horrendous mess this time. Missing caps, lost stamp pad lids, stamps all over the place…..hmmm…..no candy dish for you next time!

Our “Question of the Month” was “All past and present candidates excluded, who do you think would make a good president?”  69 people offered up some interesting choices.  Here are you answers: (oh, forgive me if I don’t know who your person is or if I spelled it correctly …or if you didn’t)

Music: Ted Nugent – Mic Jagger – Axl Rose – Cher – Ezra Koenig – Lana Del Ray – Wiz Khalifa – Vermin Supreme (who?)

Actual Political People: Joe Biden – Condolezza Rice – Colin Powell – Liz Warren – Glenn Cummings – Hilary Clinton (what part of the above question did you not understand?)

Characters: Carrie Bradshaw – Captain Penny – Mr. Fred Rogers – Wiz of Oz – Captain Kangaroo – Rick Grimes – Jean Luc Picard – Eric Cartman – Sophia Perrilo – Blanche Devaurax – Atticus Finch (2)

Religious: Jesus – Pope Francis – Sister Rose Marita

Science : Albert Einstein – Nikola Tesla

Unreals: Bart Simpson – Brewski Butt – Tidus Ruxpin (aka Teddy Ruxpin)

Television and Movies: Steve Colbert – Corbin Bernson – Jon Stewart – Mel Brooks – David Letterman – Harrison Ford – Johnny Depp – Jimmy Fallon – Ellen – Oprah – Claudia Sommers – Rick Sanchez – Charlie Rose – Jed Bartlett

Academics?: Professor Layton – Mr. Rehnberg – Coach Neitz – Mr. Maretka – Dr. Harris – Mr. Podoka – Mr. Motz – Mr. Juszli – Mr. Strube

Selfies: Meg – Me! (as in you wrote yourself) – Me again (ditto previous observation) – Me or no one (see previous ())

Un-categorical: Sr. Cheese – the Zodiac Killer (were you drunk?) – Seth Winkeart – Gibby – Ronald C. Varn – T. Lewis – Nicole Dyer – Michelle Jocas

Notice that there are NO professional athletes in this group?  For a football town, I am very surprised that no one would hand over the nuclear football to someone who knows how to carry one.  

Next month will be open studio supplies and a clothes pin show as I will be on an excused absence from the office. Extra security is being brought in and lots more new fashions will be on our racks. The Community Quilt will be done so come see your work on display. Much love to all who come out and play every month and leave you mark. 

PS – Mother’s Day is coming so shop early for a one of kind gift (or gift certificate if you don’t know someone’s size and taste) Plus Flag Day, Fourth of July, Birthdays, Showers, Weddings etc…!!!  Don’t buy another bouquet of flowers or an engraved dust bunny breeder…..think outside the box and come into the Studios. 

Entwined and Entertained

Another First Friday has come and gone…..and I have to say that this one was the emptiest I have ever seen. Perhaps the weather kept people away (even thought this has been the mildest winter in my lifetime). One man said he won’t be coming anymore because he has to pay to park nearby (and the suburban folks don’t like to walk far in the dark and scary downtown). No major sporting events were on the calendar, no political debates on TV, not a holiday weekend…..for whatever reason, people just stayed home.  All that being said, the Snarky Art/Journey Studios had enough visitors to complete three projects!

This month’s Community Participation Project was entitled “Heart Strings”. Basically yarn and nail art on steroids.  Three panels were provided along with 155 yarn balls for visitors to wind, weave and entwine around their choice of designs, a rectangle, a heart or a free for all scattering of nails.  Think of it as one for those who like order, one for the realists and one for the non-conformists.  Some tried to make specific images like stars or symbols only to find their creations layered and altered by those who came later. As always, a big thank you to all who came out to play. We have a regular following now so I have to be on my game with new and creative ways to engage you!

Before I get to the question of the month, a few observations on human behavior (my favorite topic!) Su and I have both recently traveled, she for the first time on an airplane in a long while. I fly often enough that I don’t even pay attention to the process anymore, just lemming along like a good little passenger. Su shared something I had not thought of in a long time….. you know how we are allowed only three bottles of 3oz liquids (supposedly inside a clear zip lock.)?  Why? Because a liquid could be an explosive (like shoes and underwear remember?) so anything bigger than a 3oz liquid gets confiscated…and tossed into a trash can by security.  Ummmm… as Su pointed out, if that 4oz or larger bottle of mine had been a “real” explosive, it just got tossed into a container sitting in the middle of hundreds of people just standing around…waiting to go off.  Think about that….she’s right. Hmmmm….. 

My only recent question on airport travel is how come they don’t utilize those big LED signs with constantly changing messages (like one sees at the carwash, the drug store, the gas station, outside churches etc….)  to inform people of constantly changing information (such as which line is open, which is not, what document is needed out). The  frazzled lady waving a colored sheet of paper and yelling at a hundred frazzled passengers trying to find luggage and make it thru customs so as to not miss a connection just seems outdated.  One last comment, common core math does not apply to the “one carry on and one personal item” statement. That is still 1 + 1 = 2. Two, one for each hand you have on your body.  One above and one below.  Arguing that “my purse is not a personal item” even though it is the size of a suitcase, will not fly with your fellow sardines. Pun intended. Check the thing lady before somebody checks you. Okay moving on…..

Question of the Month: What is the name of the teacher who made the greatest difference in your life?  (Notice that I did not specify whether it was a good or bad difference, although most took it as meaning positive.)  64 responses, and I apologize for any misspelled names, some handwriting is difficult to read.

E. F. Hebner       Miss Freer           Scott Elkins         Miss Ragazino    Mirjana Ilijevski

Miss Denicala     Mrs. Cotton        Mrs Kusmits       Mrs. Myricks      Prof. Homisberger

Bob Caskey         Mr. Steiner         Mr. Blaumeizer Mrs. Humphrey               

Mr. Blanchard    Mr. Carter           Mr. Dunlap         Chris Krintzline 

Mr. Codins          Mrs. TC                 Dr. Underwood                Mrs Howe

Mr. K                     Mrs. Frye             Miss Pfaltzgraph               Mr. Bowman

Christine Harrington (2)                 Mrs. Hathaway                 Ted Kisha

Jan Houston       Mr. Martin          Mrs. Knock                         Mr. Most

Mr. Wenning     Miss Filliez           Mrs. McGinley                  Mrs. Rice

Mr. English          Mr. Bodenschatz              Miss Marchand

Mr. Bickel            Mrs. McDougal                 Mrs. Manns        Mr. Nigro

Mrs. Lavy             Doc Wilson          Brad Clayton      Mr. Billingsley

Mrs. Horn            Dr. Martha Corey             Norman Law

Mr. Garcia           Mrs. Shafley       Mr. Posey           Mrs. Roth

Dr. David Anderson         Mr. Lofraddo     Dr. Pech               Mrs. Conant

Mrs. Wells           Mr. Fulcher         Mr. Hornyak       Mrs. Booth

Catching Up and Catching On

Lined up to get their squared added to big picture.

We gots us some catch’n up to do!  Yes, well aware I have been delinquent in my blogging duties and only myself to blame.  Well….that and the fact my internal organs decided to liquefy and make a break for it out my sinuses.  Found out that TP is far better than tissues for said purposes.  What do the TP companies advertise?...”soft and absorbent”  to which I will add “convenient.”   Think I could get a deal on Shark Tank if I combine a fanny pack with a TP holder that straps on the waist and provides a constant source of crud catchers? Aren’t you glad you decided to read this?

Since we were closed for January’s First Friday, there are no questions or project info to share. Our reopening in Feb went very well however so I did get all of that compiled and listed below.  The project was another “Great Square Inches of Art”, this time based on a Louis Tiffany window of a peacock.  Since this was the second go around at pulling off this project, repeat participants wasted no time getting involved. All 238 squares were completed by 10pm – good job!

The Boutique has expanded to the front room, our office space has moved to the rear, Su’s cutting tables and dying buckets are ready for business, the jewelry cases hold fabrics and projects ready to be re-envisioned, art is everyplace (hers and mine) and the hallway is our photo gallery.  Community projects for sale are in the public restroom (hey, you get the real estate you pay for) and elsewhere as it fits, and the studio is also now the classroom.  You will no longer find rotating monthly exhibits of other artists. Online shopping is the wave of the future so we best grab hold and get onboard. So many plans….so many ideas……it’s exciting!

All this work has kept me away from the viewing of shows and exhibits but a few oddities of human behavior and a pretty funny typo in the paper are worth pointing out.  Question for you…ever work in retail?  If so….did you close down during posted business hours to do store inventory? You know, turning shoppers away so you could smoke a cigarette outside next to a tiny sign that says you are closed for inventory? Then sort of wave a hand and say “sorry”.  Hmmm….thought not, but a local store did yesterday so I just can’t wait to go there today because customer friendly is their business model…right?  Next up, did you read about the Odd Mall in the paper this past weekend?  Wonder how many pictures of river boats got sold? I would expect “fairies” to be a hot item at this type of event, but not “ferries.”  

I got to experience the America’s Mart wholesalers / buyers/ apparel show this past month in Atlanta. After the colonoscopy, lie detector test and federal back ground check to get in the door, even I could only spend a couple hours at most before becoming overwhelmed by our consumerism. Not that I didn’t go back to look a few times to check on the status of the clientele, but I was obviously from the “north” and not in the right “uniform” of leggings, pull cart and star$ coffee cup in hand.  Atlanta has a wonderful botanical garden, even in Feb when all is dead and brown, no uniform needed.

Okay, answers to the Question of the Month: Name an article of clothing you wish you still owned today, regardless of fit.

Uriah Heep T shirt            Mom’s flour sack shirt                HSM shirt

Centenial Glasgow Celtic soccer shirt                                  basketball jersey

Led Zep T-shirt                  football jersey                            lingere                                 

Jimmy Cliff concert shirt                                                      blanky

J. C. Superstar tour t-shirt (Neely and Anderson)                rainforest boxers

Bikini underwear              tube socks                                   sweat socks

KISS belt buckle                    black Betmer hat                  orange bikini

Kim Possible costume                                                         speedo

Lava Lava (?)                      brown buckle shoes                 green high tops

Dingo boots                        Go Go boots                              cowboy boots

1968 Buffalo sandals       black converse shoes                   saddle shoes

Frye boots                          all white Nike ____ (?)             paisley vest

Leather vest                       Lt blue leisure suit                     leisure suit

Scooter skirt                       hand painted blue jeans            short shorts!

Nylon parachute pants                                                         Dee Cee overalls

Button fly jeans                                lederhosen                  bib overalls (2)

Any pair of jeans with a 30” waist                                      bell bottom slacks

Paw print harem pants                                                         jean jacket

Pink corduroy pants        rabbit jacket                                 knickers

Letter jacket                      neon windbreaker                      Nehru jacket

My mom’s black wool sweater                 granny dress

Michael Jackson jacket  Poe Dameron’s jacket                   Barbie dress

High school baby doll dress                   my princess dress

White dress with red polka dots            shark skin jacket

Cleveland Indians jersey (?)

Once again, thank you all for playing, see you at our March Project “heart strings” but I hope you will stop by to shop and explore long before that!

Lucky Numbers

For our final First Friday “Leave your Mark” Question of the Month (henceforth known as FFLYMQOTM…or not) I asked the question:

If you could add a 13^th day to the 12 Days of Christmas, what would it be?

 

A few brave souls left some options. As human behavior would have it, if there are fewer slots to be filled, then fewer people will participate despite extra boards for more answers. I guess the overflow boards must equate with being on the children’s table of importance. I am not going to repeat the first 12 days, we all tend to know the song from #6 on down, and fake our way through the other 6. Maybe your subconscious will substitute one of these choices during the church carole sing and everyone will give you a stink eye of condemnation.

13 painters painting        13 skaters skating

13 strippers (and a question mark)  (are you like 12 and can't figure this out?)

13 bees a buzzing             13 chicks a clucking

13 gardeners planting    13 drunks a drinking

13 turtles snapping          13 bakers baking

13 dogs a humping          13 shelters accepting birds

13 horns a playing            13 artists trying!

13 willows weeping         13 hamsters shaking

13 cats a singing                13housekeepers cleaning

13 reindeer flying             13 ducks a quacking

13 stores a selling             13 orphans finding a home

13 children sweeping     13 Hoovers sweeping  (maybe 13 Hoover children sweeping?)

13 beers a brewing          13 AP students crying

13 cats a purring               13 hearts a loving

13 reporters writing        13 Brown’s fans a’crying

And some kid that took up three spaces learing to write…..

Our Memorial tree did very well and is still up in case anyone wants to add a bulb and some names. The next FF will be February when the new Journey Studios/ Snarky Art …the studio, reopens as a different type of destination. There will be a Community Project of some type, I am still working on that idea but we will definitely expect you to come play as always!

One final note on the promotion that was held last month, the one where people spend $20 on art and can then turn in the receipt for $10 back in cash.  The intent is to get these folks to then go spend that cash right back in the District. However, I bet most of those people headed out to the Strip or the mall and spent that cash someplace else (or just put in the pocket to tip the sitter). Now I am not an expert on marketing, but I gots me some good old fashioned common sense…..what if….    Patron A spends $20 on art or whatever as intended, then turns in the receipt for a voucher or certificate or coupon worth $10 (of “free” money) that is good at the establishments in the District only, for perhaps 30 days. When used, the Owner of the biz who is honoring the coupon keeps them all then turns in all collected coupons after 30 days for the cash from the organization who is giving it away in the first place. That way the cash stays in the pockets of the people whom it was intended to help in the first place and we don’t look like we have to bribe people to come downtown and shop. This method also serves as a way to keep track of where people are going in the District. Chances are that if Patron A gives the coupon to a friend, Patron B, she may come downtown and buy a $50 dollar item for only $40. Then the artist/owner will get the $10 back therefore making more money than he would have before.  Just seems logical to me. All those convoluted story problems with doodles in the margins may have paid off after all! I just don’t like the idea of money donated to support the arts being handing out in the form of cash to people on the streets.

Have a very Merry Christmas (or whatever PC saying you wish to insert, but I am sticking with this one for my own post).  May there be Peace on Earth.

Stark County Artists Exhibition 2015 MassMu

Envision the scene in all the Frankenstein movies when the doctor screams out “it’s alive!!!”  Next shot is on the monster, breathing once again, and in our version, the creature is wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with the word “Realism”. Yes folks, realism is alive and well and well represented in this year’s Stark County Artists Exhibition currently on view at the MassMu.  (Full disclosure: my Daily Doodle Diary Dress from Hoard Couture Wearables is included in the show.)

To better understand the voice of this show, for once, I actually looked up the jurors and their backgrounds. Not making any judgements here one way or the other, as the overall show is better than the past view years (even the clunkers kicked it up a notch), but one can see why the creature is alive and kicking. One juror has no hands-on visual arts background that I can find, the person is an administrator. One is an independent studio artist/instructor of realistic oil paintings. The third juror has a background in psychology before getting another degree in photography.  I will let you draw your own conclusions. I am sure they are all really nice people and very good at what they do. And for once, this show was not overwhelmed with photography , the few included stand out for a reason.

That all being said, there are some truly fabulous works of art in this show and many that reach the bar I personally have come to expect from area artists. And….there are some pieces that have been around the block a few too many times and a few that should have been left on the curb. No sense beating a dead cow (I like horses) and stating the obvious again so if you don’t know my peeves by now, I’m not wasting the word count. On to the works that I want to call out for your eventual viewing pleasure…..

In no particular order, the stars of the show are Anna Zotta’s digital “Leifeng Pagoda” , both paintings by Tina Myers “Cats in the Window” and “Living in the Trees”, Carol Mendenhall’s “Fires of Summer” and Lindsey J. Bryan’s “Swan and Fox”.   Zotta’s small piece is sophisticated and proportionally perfect down to the frame, capturing the vib of classic 50’s/60’s advertising.  It is gem hidden on the massive wall but a better location than another piece by Lindsey Bryan entitled “Ghost Kids” that I walked right past several times, mounted alone on a column.  Bryan’s Honorable Mention digital print “Swan and Fox” is beautiful in its delicate rendering but also disturbing as the featured creatures are dead. The composition is both reverent in how the animals are presented and a bit grotesque in that they are perhaps being offered up for a feast. I liked that juxtaposition…or I completely missed the point, but I came back to it several times. Tina Myers has two large acrylics with abstracted forms (so realism still counts in this case as some objects and elements are recognizable). They have good bones and she is a talented painter, sort of an Alexandra Nechita-esque technique with a bit of trendy zentangle tossed in. Finally, Mendenhall’s “Fires of Summer” which has no realism whatsoever, but whose reds and golds are a perennial favorite of many. I found myself torn between wanting to view it on the horizontal as it is displayed (giving me the impression of a spectacular sunset reflecting off of a wet sidewalk) or wanting to turn it 90 degrees to the vertical and capturing the same sunset reflected off of a window. Both ways would work and both would be equally successful.

Other pieces in the show that one should not miss are Brain Robinson’s pastels “Simple Waves” and “Hocking Cathedral”. He is a master of his craft in both use of media and knowledge of composition. The tilt of the trail captured in the latter piece with its expertly placed lower left sunspot is amazing to see (having worked in pastels myself).  Tom Migge has three wood-works in a showcase dedicated to his pieces and to single out just one would be wrong as each is so unique.  L-64 got an Honorable Mention however and I would guess it is because of the oh so delicate change of grain and grade on the “sides” that one would overlook if savoring only the obviously difficult parts. Three other noteworthy entries include Nancy Matin’s “Frostbite” which really pushes her abstraction skills with fresh layers of paint.  William Bogdans’ “The Doe Lay Dead in the Field of Asters: No”, a woodcut that is bold in scale and incorporates the overall format and composition as part of the imagery more so than before.  And finally, a dimensional, sculptural work by Diane Belfiglio entitled “Fleeting Fall II” which really has her (I have to do it, I’m sorry) thinking outside the box.  Oops…one more….Bruce Humbert’s “Emerald Beauty” with its “just a bit too big eyeball” on the bird, I kept going back…acid green vs traditional black…intriguing to say the least.

Some general comments are warranted for this show. Comment one: The MassMu staff did a wonderful job hanging the show and providing an overall visual experience that makes each entry just as important as the next (except to the Ghost Kids thingy).  Comment two: Do not paint over a previous signature in order to update a piece and leave part of the old signature showing….or use outdated and scratched up frames.  Comment three: Beware of the ‘one more thing’ monster that kills many a good work. Know when to stop, when to step away…sometimes that one element is what you are trying to “say” but often the whole conversation is far better than the point itself. Comment four: This show left me wanting to get back to painting again, to end my self-imposed hiatus away from the canvas, but sometimes one needs to just play in order to reevaluate purpose.

I give this year’s show an A-.  What would make it an A or an A+?  A few more daring pieces to savor over rather than just some pretty pieces that do not require much observational thought. Overall, great job Stark artists! Now get back to work for the upcoming May Show.

I wanted to also see and review the CAL show on exhibit in Studio M but there was a meeting going on and I could not access the room….maybe in the weeks to come. 

Braided Rivers…the Journey Continues

Have you ever seen a braided river in the wilds of Alaska? They are wide, meandering beds of water that flow not in one big solid body of current, but as an assortment of narrow paths that ebb and flow and weave and turn as patterns (wind, rocks, quantity) change. The narrow river-ettes (I made that word up) all tend to go the same direction eventually, but are called “braided” rivers because the pieces criss-cross and entwine as often as they run alone in a wide arc back to the main branch. They are constantly under redirection within the confines of one wide river bed.

Such is the concept and the vision of the upcoming merger of Journey Art Gallery (returning to the Journey Studios name) with the Snarky Art studio, to become a new entity on the west coast of the Arts District as you know it, and an anchor tenant of the Canton Fashion District as we see it.

Now that Su has made public the changes to come, it is my chance to look back (and look deeper) so you all understand why this is happening. Simply stated, all artists must grow and explore and create or they will wither away. The Journey Art Gallery as it exists today has served its purpose, served its community and fulfilled its original mission statement. The journey was a success by all measures of what she wanted it to be and to what point it could and would aspire.

That being said, in an ever changing world of what constitutes “art” and what the public wants to consume and accept as “art”, it becomes a necessity to stay fresh, current and viable. Television studios constantly add new shows to their lineups and drop what is not working. Movies are new to the screen each and every week. Clothing styles are introduced worldwide multiple times a year during fashion weeks. Even your local restaurant menu changes fairly often….so why not “art galleries”?  To stay solvent in this business of ours, one must not be afraid to take a new look and a different point of view based on what has been learned. The art world of even 5 years ago is not the art world of today because of many factors, not the least of which are technology, online shopping, transient communities and people wanting to live with less. The permanent is out, the consumable or usable is in.

With thoughts such as those in mind, we had many conversations over the past several months and worked very hard to come up with a solution to make “creativity” a viable and relevant business plan. Toss in a leap of faith and with hard work and a vision based on a braided river, what will emerge on the corner of 4^th and McKinley will be anyone’s guess at this point if one is trying to pin a label on us. The path will be in one direction but how it gets there will be up to our creative muses of the moment…..we want to make new ways for art to happen and to be relevant not only to the Canton community, but to a broader, wider audience of consumers. 

For certain, there will be fashions that are one of a kind creations, hers, mine, ours, other artists who specialize in the textile arts. There will be painting, painting as fashion, painting as art, and an exploration of how technology affects this fusion. There will be the fruition of visions and ideas, the creation of concepts that have been trying to find time to be realized, and a space where 2 artists can work and people can shop, all while having as much fun as we can possibly provide. After all, if life and hard work are not fun, then what is the point?

We are counting on YOU, to shop locally, to continue to participate in our community projects, spread the word and bring people downtown.  The friends and supporters of Journey Art Gallery will not be disappointed at what is to come, we know you like art, you like to see different things, you like to get your hands dirty once ‘n awhile and you have trust in us to keep our corner alive and active and inspiring. So stayed tuned…..the best is yet to come.

Its just not fun anymore.

An early JK, I am the one in pink on the left, facing away from all the others.

I love it when a title just drops in my lap!  At the Mask Affair opening last night, Chris T., his wife and I had a wonderful back and forth about the status of today’s classroom. His words were that educational reforms have “just sucked the fun out of everything!” which could be applied to just about everything nowadays thanks to regulations, expectations, and the PC-ation of our nation.  However, for the sake of not requiring you to wade through a rant equivalent to War and Peace, I shall limit myself to “what if I were back in the classroom…..?”

25 years and counting on maternity leave so no chance of my getting my old job back, but nor would I want it. The school switched over to block scheduling 20 some year ago and I did not understand it then, nor do I now.

Substituting worked for a while until I dropped off of that list too. When it became my job to track down a job and not their job to fill the job, I decided the early morning auto calls were not worth the potential back wrenching to get the phone. Choosing between options (without knowing what was being offered to teach) seemed counterproductive to the process.  Back in the day (oh stop groaning), the “caller” called the night before and offered the job by subject and grade….6^th grade math anybody?  Sure! A buck was a buck and if a lesson plan (or movie) was left for me, I could teach anything.

Fast forward 20 years or more. The substitute teacher (me) now checks in at the desk…after breaching security, getting a badge, registering my car and posing for a mug shot.  The exasperated secretary hands me a folder (binder size) for my use that day. I merrily make my way down the hall (with the use of a GPS in today’s mega schools) to my assigned room and settle in to look over the lesson plan……

But first, one must read through the security lock down or crisis in the classroom procedures. Check. Then it was the fire drill, tornado drill, bee in the hallway drill etc for evacuation or shelter in place procedures. Check. On to the custody and information sharing status for students who had this unfortunate situation regarding which parent could know what about whom and when and who could pick up or sign out who and when and when I was to not notify anybody about anything. Check. Okay, good now I can read my les………………nope, nada, first have to read the medical status and procedures for kids with allergies, medications, special requirements and when during the day such needs need to be met (and who I could tell, when and why and heaven forbid there is a bee in the hallway!!) Check. Now I can………………….sorry, first one has to go thru the do’s and don’ts of the particular class room such as restroom breaks, number of tissues per student per day, looking out the window violations, and so on…..  Check.   OMG a student has arrived!

Hi, what’s your name?  Troy.  Oh, hmmmm you are not on my list.  Its under Joseph R Smith, but my cousin is named that so I use the abbreviated version of my middle name but I have three middle names because of a hyphened name someplace along the line after the divorce, but then “she” got a dog and named it my other middle name so I had to go to plan B and now I spell it with a silent “e” so I am not confused with Troy E who is a girl.  Have a seat.

Found the lesson plan after skipping a bunch of stuff that would probably not make any difference because class would be over before I got thru it all.  Seems we are going to be drawing today  (everybody should spend math class drawing when the lesson plan is written in a language I no longer speak and requires a computer).  Hey, one has to be flexible in these trying times of modern interaction with the future leaders of the world.  Kids, take out a pencil and paper.   Pencil…it is the long skinny often yellow stick like thing with a pointy end and a pink rubbery thing on the other.  I know, some are plastic and click to dispense the lead, try and work with me okay? Thank goodness we aren’t in the Snarky studio room where my personal pencil sharpener is mounted upside down and backwards…much to the delight of dyslexics everywhere. 

Everybody draw a circle.  Chaos.  How big? Where on the page? How many? Right now? With what?.... Smarty pants in the front has to inform me that they are now required to justify their work and the process of how it was done, why and how they feel about it.  Um…it is an f-ing circle kiddo.  But I am game so let us proceed with this required element of our educational development so as not to hurt anybody’s self-esteem.  (Seriously, could we please just have a tornado drill about now?)  The simple circle….Troy(e), how do you feel about your work and why did you do this particular shape?  I know I told you too but that is not good enough…. Oh, your result is making you feel sad because it is not a big as girl Troy’s circle?  Is this a problem for either of you? Does anybody care about how “I” feel about this?  No I will not tell your aunt’s sister who is on today’s list as your legal guardian until 4pm when it becomes……..what? You need to use the restroom?  Nope, can’t allow that, could be a bee in the hallway.  I don’t care how that makes you feel, I have to go write down my justification for the answer and how I came to that conclusion and its effect on the rest of the class although only the janitor is going to be inconvenienced by this situation. 

Suddenly cries ring out…..Mrs. K do you hear that? What? Quick what is our crisis code procedure for whatever is going on? Panic!! It is a car alarm in the parking lot, page 6, second paragraph, grab your work and proceed in an orderly manner to the hallway outside of the main gym unless the alarm is on the west side of the lot then turn right and trot at a reasonable rate of speed to the cafeteria….unless it is lunchtime then go….oh forget it.  Hey kids, inside that circle you made, put two dots and a curved line. We call that a smiley face…..no, it is not an emoticon. It is art. Have a nice day.

I love teaching as do so many artists I meet. The front of the classroom warriors who claim the title of “art teacher” however are a special breed doing a job I could no longer stand to perform if everything a student did had to be justified, verified, validated, rated, recorded and dissected in minutia for its’ process, purpose and product. The powers that be have truly “sucked the fun out of everything.” Even art, which I would justify as a crime against humanity and it makes me feel sad.  Kudos to Chris and his fellow art teachers that face this crisis in our classroom on a daily basis and still make it work.