One thing missing....

Found as is outside my studio in the parking lot...natural formation last Friday!

What is one thing you wish you still owned today?

This month’s Leave Your Mark question had 65 responses. Considering this month’s low attendance for First Friday, that is a decent number! The Community Participation Project generated a lot of activity as well, we even had a line waiting to color in their hearts at several times during the evening. The crowd was steady on our end of the District, but a walk around outside saw empty streets. I did have an interesting (or perhaps enlightening is a better word) conversation with a group of ladies at one of the local restaurants.

I asked if they were going to venture down the street to see our work and participate in the FF activities. The answer was no. Why? The reasons were different for each person, but it was an overall consensus. 1. It was too cold.  (Now these folks had coats and obviously walked from their parked car to this establishment). 2. They only come to support the restaurants so maybe another time.  3. What art? (Hold me back and pass the duct tape.)  4. “FF’s are no longer about art, they are about beer, booze, bands and groups of young people standing around on the streets.  The focus has changed and not for the better.” (A direct quote from a very influential local person in the area.)  Can’t say I disagree which is why we are working so hard to give people a reason to wander.  Some of the great art venues are not on the official map….such as the AE complex to name one.  Translations/Cyrus is offering up new and innovative art but they are not located in the confines of the official AD footprint.

IF that footprint is changing because retail is coming in and arts oriented businesses are moving out and beyond, maybe the shoe no longer fits. Maybe a new name is needed and this is not just a local thing, such growing pains are happening all over the country, it is the ebb and flow of economics. Arts Districts are becoming Entertainment Districts with the arts mixed in. Think about it, what do people do for entertainment if they come from out of town? See a play or movie, go to bars, eat out at restaurants, shop at funky little stores, tour historic buildings and museums….all of which are pretty much within our current footprint or a few blocks thereof.  Rebranding the Arts District to an Arts and Entertainment District and widening the margins to encompass the Car Museum, First Ladies Library, Art Museum, Environmental Arts, Crew Nightclub, and so on, would better serve all those people coming to stay in our new hotels, as well as the possibly burnt out locals. Directing guests to an Arts District that is not really saturated with Art anymore is doing us all a disservice.  Bit of a side note, even getting to our area is a problem…anybody driven the crater field called Fulton Road? If the big dreams for the giant juicer come to be, then someone needs to put money into paving the whole way down to the District or nobody is going to bother risking a broken axle or flat tire. Okay, back on topic…

A brewery is not art, resale/vintage fashion stores are not art, a tattoo shop is not art, a nightclub is not art, an historic hotel is not art, yoga studios are not art…but many of these places have art displayed in them and support the local artists. These venues would be of interest to out-of-towners (and many locals if they knew about them all being within one general downtown area) as places to visit. When I travel, I look for things to do and places to explore, I don’t specifically target “art”, but 99% of the time, I find great galleries and spaces within all these other “entertainment” categories. I am afraid that if we don’t widen our perspective, we are going to wither and die. If it is a matter of semantics, that giving up that four letter word “arts” will somehow take away some power or direction, then we need to figure out how to accept such a circumstance and move on, rebranding, refocusing and reenergizing what was once a vibrant and “must do” event every month. “Entertainment” may be a bigger draw than just “Arts”, folks like to be entertained and to be part of something, and if that something includes some art….win win.  Hmmmm…how about “First Friday, your Arts and Entertainment Destination in Downtown Canton!”  Make it a monthly habit that is hard to break. You can “see, do, dance, dine and indulge” all in one place. (Consider this officially copyrighted :-)

My goodness that was a long introductory paragraph to get to my answers from Friday’s question of the month! (Which will remain up for 2 weeks if you wish to contribute.)

What is one thing you wish you still owned today?

Animals: my cat Sparky – my giny pig (which I think is supposed to be guinea pig) – my goats – my dead rabbit – a dog

Toys: Sega Genesis – Nintendo – Atari! – Betsy Wetsy doll – toy train – little people set – my little pony – my 1^st 2 wheeler Schwinn – my yamahopper (I have no idea what that is so it is in the toy category) – creepy crawlers – Tamagotchi – Lincoln logs – erector set – toys – baseball cards – a wonder ball – merlin’s magic kit

Vehicles: blue Honda civic – Jeep Liberty – my 1974 bug – yellow MGB GT – GTO – Big Blue (I am guessing that is the nickname of a car and not a pet) – 1976 Firebird – 1992 T bird SC

Personal Items: my leather bracelet – my music studies – my childhood diary – my home – AIM account – that necklace – the Who, Who’s Next album – green sweater – my fav boots – weedeater – my chalkboard – Sailor Moon VHS

Physical items: my health – my pancreas – my hair – my skinny self – my flat belly

Emotional items: my boyfriend – my best friend – true pure love – the ‘80s – heart – freedom – my youth (2 votes) – my motivation – trust in others – simplicity – innocence – my virginity – college life – my sanity (2 votes) – my mind

Everyone used their best handwriting (thanks!) and really took time to think about their responses.  Come back in March for another project and another question. As long as my creativity holds out, I will do my best to provide you a reason to visit our corner of the world. A big thank you to Jeff and Su and Meg for all their support…my Journey neighbors are the BEST!

Going around in circles.....

…around University Circle in Cleveland. We decided to be real empty nesters and go do a day of “site seeing” in familiar territory. The Botanical Garden opened its orchid show on Saturday, unbeknownst to us. Getting to the garden was made interesting by a restructuring of the traffic circle by the new VA facility. Us older drivers don’t adapt as quickly to five lane traffic reroutes but we made it around the circle and into the underground parking…which is also “new” to us.  The interior portions of the Botanical Garden facility are small compared to the rainforest at the zoo and the conservatories in Columbus and Pittsburgh, but for a warm walk in the greenery and lots of pretty flowers, it can’t be beat in January. However, being hardy Ohioans at a facility known for its outdoor gardens, what’s a little snow? Judging by the footprints, some security guard had to be watching the video and calling over his buddies to decide what was wrong this those people. Missing were any signs that the trail was sponsored by the UH Orthopedic Department, but it would have been appropriate.

Next we ventured over to see the new student center on the CWRU campus. Thwing Hall still stands (good thing) to shield this rather ugly architectural monolith. Thwing is the Cincinnati test for incoming freshmen. At UC, if you can spell Cincinnati correctly without looking up how many N’s, C’s, I’s or T’s are needed, you are a true Bearcat. At Case, if you can pronounce Thwing correctly, you are a Spartan. Case gets brownie points for clearing their sidewalks, but once you move a millimeter off campus territory, it is back to figure skating 101. Literally, there is a sharp line between the bare sidewalk and the “oh no not our turf” surface.

Stop number three was the MOCA, or Museum of Crappy Architecture (okay, contemporary art). Why do designers feel that a building has to be like its contents? Euclid Ave used to be called Millionaires Row for its large and lovely mansions. Very few still stand, but would it not have been wonderful to recreate one of those architectural marvels on the outside to house the art on the inside? A little creative liberty could have been taken, like making the wood and plaster columns out of decorative ironwork and replace stone with glass, something “modern” like that, but no. What stands on the corner looks to me like a giant dirty kneaded eraser was squished a bit and plopped down on the cement. Sometimes I think we just try too hard. Inside is cavernous and stark. The main gallery was closed for installation but we got to see an exhibit on the second floor, in the only gallery on the second floor. “Truth and Visions” by Joyce J. Scott from Baltimore who combines found objects, beads, glass, and African sculptures into figurative works that express her range of emotions about African-American history.

Our circular route continued up to Little Italy along some dicey icy sidewalks but without mishap. Our goal was to wander the galleries and studios of Murray Hill. For some reason, they are mostly gone. Granted the spaces are filled with retail shops of gifts and flowers and crafts and stuff, but the real “studios” and galleries have disappeared. Disappointed as well with the old School House facility that used to house all sorts of artists and creative spaces, now occupied by architectural firms, photo studios and businesses. I suppose the rents got too high and the artists moved on to other places. The new CIA dorms are pretty funky however! Again, the new are plopped on top of the old and all hope for the best.

We followed a couple pulling suitcases almost the full length of Murray Hill back towards campus. The mother in me wanted to know why they were not wearing gloves or appropriate footwear in the snowy conditions…this is Cleveland in January people.  Same thought about the group of female track team runners going by in spandex and tiny track shoes…..are there cleats on those things? How come you don’t fall down and aren’t even cold? Life is not fair…. Thank goodness for the campus border and clear sidewalks…all the way across Euclid Ave (past the idiot who stopped his car dead center of the cross walk), and on to the campus coffee shop to warm up. Eavesdropped on a mock interview between a girl from Shanghai and a professor. Her family raises rabbits in China and everybody was in medicine…not sure how those two professions connected nor do I want to know.

With a few hours left we made it to the Crawford Auto Museum and Historical Society, more buildings since redone and quite well this time. Your entry fee gets you some tokens for a couple of rides on   the restored Euclid Beach carousel installed in a glass window area. Been a long time but we joined other hearty middle agers and seniors with the grandkids and climbed onto a revolving pony. Always check overhead to be sure your horse is one that rotates. Otherwise you are stuck on one that just stands there while you spin. If one is going to get a bit spin sick, might as well go for the full feeling and add some ups and downs to the mix. The large building well laid out and has airplanes too.  Did you know that there were only 14 stainless steel cars ever made, only 10 still exist and four of them are in this museum? Neither did I but the DeLorean is still ugly (sorry Andy). A private party was setting up so the not so subtle message of “it’s time for you all to leave” was heard loud and clear.

One can park at the Botanical Gardens until 11pm for one price and it is underground so keep that in mind if you happen to venture to the Circle.  A wonderful Mexican restaurant in Akron completed the evening and a chat with the owner about the idea of opening one up in our area was a great way to end the day. No slips, no sprains, no broken bones, not bad for a winter adventure. We wanted to get home before Linus hit (which has since turned out to be a Charlie Brown)….how appropriate for a football weekend, Lucy pulled it away again.

Is painting dead?

Just at Sunrise    12 x 25 acrylic on canvas

Is painting dead? Or to be more accurate, are paintings (made entirely of paint on stretched canvas) gone by the way of the typewriter and the curly phone cord?  I pose this question for a number of reasons and based on accumulating observations of the ever evolving art world. Now to be fair, Canton is not exactly a booming mecca of artistic innovation. We tend to see what is “out there” and follow suit in our own ways. So why the question…..

My gallery neighbor recently returned from a national gathering of art marketers, suppliers and other such related artists who are in the business of making art.  One of her observations was that wall art (as in paintings made of paint on stretched canvases) were very rare. In cases where canvases were featured, they had matching accessories to make a complete “look”.  In a way, the painting had to be seen and appreciated as a grouping, not as a stand-alone image.  What does comprise the “solo canvas” category now is more mixed-media oriented, more craft content then imagery. Collage if you will.  Speaking of which, we must all get to the MassMu to see the collage exhibition, I hear it is fabulous.

“Wall craft” does seem to be dominate in the industry. “Craft” in general appears to be the direction of art for the near and most likely distant future, the trend if you will. Could it be that homes are just out of wall space? Newer homes have lots of big windows and those ginormous TV’s take up a lot of what is left. The open concept floor plan has eliminated many walls, collections of memorabilia or clusters of family photos compete for what little square footage is left. Some folks just plain hate to pound a nail in the wall for fear of getting it in the wrong spot and making a hole.

I did happen to see a very large “painting” being purchased at the local big box store last week. A good 60” on one side…and not expensive either. So too can one find very large art and very small prices in all the craft stores, accessory stores, even clothing stores, not to mention thrift shops and garage sales. Prints on demand over the internet are killing us too, the place where you send in a picture and it is blown up, perhaps manipulated like a Warhol, and put on canvas for your decorating pleasure. 

On the subject of sizes, bigger is no longer better. The small accent pieces are very much “on trend” with painters actually being able to use only paint and make little gems at reasonable prices, while still enjoying and engaging in the physical process of putting a brush onto the canvas itself. I chatted last night with an established artist who is also struggling with this transition from working on detailed and skillful pieces that could take a month or more…or more…to complete. Why are we still doing it? Nobody really appreciates the time factor (and the subsequent price) when so much art can be had quickly and cheaper. She is not the only one recently to bring up the question of when is it time to quit, or change direction, or reinvent oneself, or branch out or toss in the towel or rework the old stuff etc..?

Don’t look to me for any answers, this is a blog of questions! I am struggling with the same issues as my contemporaries….where do we go from here and why? Are we finding joy in new directions? (Yes) Do we feel a bit “guilty” for deviating from our “signatures”? (No, but it does make others oddly a bit uncomfortable)  Six canvases into my cacti and every day brings the same question from someone…why? Well…I will list a bunch and you can circle whichever one fits the narrative…

Because I can  - because I want to – to give my brain a break – to play – to experiment – life is short – I was bored – I like cacti – cactus is really a funny word to make plural – the canvas shape was cool in the store – I am getting older – they are fun – warm work in cold weather – who doesn’t’ love a botanical? – they kept getting in the way of my landscape photos – saguaros have personalities – I like big buds and I cannot lie – it is a prickly subject with me – they come in pears and barrels – I get to buy new colors – it is not easy being green – you can’t lean on one -  shall I go on?

I think I hijacked my own blog. This was supposed to be about the changing surfaces of canvas and the changing purpose of wall art. So is “painting” dead? Maybe in other parts of the country, but it takes a while for things to catch up here in the Midwest, so no. Painting is alive and well here in O-H-I-O. Check out the daily gems of Bullach and Digby….C M Adams is on to some new explorations in mixed media that is very color pallet oriented and I believe that some of us old dogs and that young pup will keep the torch burning until the rest of world cycles back and catches up. After all, typewriters are being made once again just like turntables and big headphones. And if we bring back the brick streets how far behind can the buggy whip be?

PS - The series will have its own gallery on my website. www.judikrew.artspan.com 

When you wish upon a fish....

As I mentioned in my previous post, the results of the Jelly-wish Fish project would be tabulated and recorded. I finally found my notes, tucked into other assorted papers, hence the delay. A minor digression first to mention an observation about our young people…..during my art class this week I had 14 kids aged 12 – 14, all boys except one.

One of our activities is to discuss different types of art. I give them chalk and chalkboards to work as teams to come up with as many as they can think of in 90 seconds. The most was 7, then 6 then 4. (three teams).  Only one team spelled their words correctly. The other two boards were an exercise in deciphering assorted letters that were supposed to be real words. I asked if spelling was part of their curriculum (after I explained what a curriculum was)…no. They don’t have any spelling lessons. No need too, computers do it all.  So here are a few versions of what now passes as art terms and other words….

Arbstuck (abstract); gatar (guitar); sceting (sketching); sculptur (sculpture); bannanna (banana)… oh never mind…it was abysmal. Not to mention that they are sitting in a studio surrounded by different forms, colors, styles, images and yet nothing much came to mind.  However, after 6 hours, they had experienced pencil, patterning, watercolors, simple design and principles of composition, threading a needle and sewing on both a patch and a button among other activities in the allotted time. Somehow those last two activities are always the highlight of the day and rather difficult, but very much appreciated. So my wish for the Jellyfish is that spelling for accuracy, memorization, understanding of the basics of language structure and just plain brain engagement become part of our educational standards once again….but as I said on our Community Participation Project disclaimer, there is no guarantee that the wishes will come true.

Okay on to the statistics. Once our First Friday visitors understood the concept, tagging the Jelly became a popular activity. Only a few folks required good natured strong arming to get them to engage. My policy is that no one may exit Snarky Art through my McKinley door until one has left their mark. I guess a lady in a top hat is unnerving enough that just my disapproving glare for those who said they had not participated will cause an about face. You teachers know that “look”.

Final tally was 120 tags on the tendrils. One written in Greek and one in Japanese so I could not record their sentiments. The majority of wishes were for the usual health, happiness, peace and goodwill etc. standard beauty queen answers. A couple were obviously being snarky…like wishing to be hit by a bus (I know who you are and that was not what you really wanted….). But a fair number really gave this activity some thought and were genuinely in tune with the concept. For those who do not know about the tradition of a wishing tree here is what was posted on our board: A wish tree is an individual tree, usually distinguished by species, position or appearance, which is used as an object of wishes and offerings. Such trees are identified as possessing a special religious or spiritual value. The Lam Tsuen Wishing Trees are located in Hong Kong near the Tin Hau Temple in Lam Tsu. Two banyan trees are frequented by tourists and the locals during the Lunar New Year. Previously, they burnt joss sticks, wrote their wishes on joss paper tied to an orange, and then threw them up to hang in these trees, believing that if the paper successfully hung onto one of the tree branches, their wishes would come true. In Glasgow's Hidden Garden at Pollockshields and at the Kagyu Samye Ling Monastery in Scotland, a number of trees have been planted onto which people can tie white labels, on which they have written their wishes. In Hindu mythology, the banyan tree is also called kalpavriksha, meaning "wish- fulfilling tree", as it represents eternal life because of its seemingly ever-expanding branches.

What follows are a few of the wishes left on our “tree” (adjusted for privacy):  Open an art gallery --- life would turn around this year --- not to be afraid, stand up for myself --- never reach the limits of my own motivation --- house will sell --- remain financially secure --- be free from anxiety --- live a year of feeling good about everything I do ---I wish to marry (name) --- new adventures and new love --- a year of family as everyone grows older and moves on --- babies!! (mentioned 3 times) --- to touch a student’s life --- get back with my ex-husband --- a wish for common sense for all of us --- for people not to look at me in disgust --- to thaw a frozen heart --- to make a different ---

I will admit that I was extremely moved my many of these and I too hope their wishes come true, many of these behaviors would benefit us all.  Thank you everyone who participated or just came by to see us. Anyone who is working at their own galleries, studios, restaurants, shops, etc and are actively “on duty” on a First Friday, we are all working to fulfill our roles and make these monthly events something that brings us to the attention of the general public who will then patronize our venues the remaining days of the month. However… there are those who are intrinsically part of this process that rarely make an appearance, so please put us on your list of places to stop by and actively participate. We only request a few moments of your time and the show of support is greatly appreciated! 

Do you hear what I hear? Answers to our Question of the Month.

Imagine you could not hear this thundering rush of water!

Okay, that was not really the question of the month which I will get to in a moment. First I must mention that our participation is growing, this being the 4^th time we (Snarky Art/Journey Gallery) have posed a question to our First Friday visitors. Also, this is the second month of our Community Participation Project and we were overwhelmed by how many people came by to take part. Despite not having our ice carver show up, (the resulting  “sculpture” on the pedestal thereby a dead ringer for the monolith in 2001 A Space Odyssey) we drew a large and steady crowd for music, art and hot cocoa.

Another blog post will be devoted to the Jelly-Wish-Fish project. You will be able to see all of our projects created from December through June at a special show in July…but until then, keep coming by to be part of the creative process. There are some great projects being planned that will only take a few moments of your time.

Okay, now on to the “Leave Your Mark” Question of the month…..”If you suddenly woke up completely deaf, what sound(s) –except for any related to the human voice- would you miss?”  I chose this question because my Dad (without his cochlear implant) is deaf and I wondered what sounds we all take for granted.  99 answers were offered this time! October had 25, November was 70, December 58 and now a jump to 99. Look for each month’s question in the AiS First Friday flyers.

So to best of my categorizing ability (and in some cases the deciphering of handwriting) the responses are as follows:

Birds at the feeder – birds chirping – singing birds (2 entries)

Spring peepers (2 entries)

Daytime crickets – crickets at night – cicadas

Violins (2 entries) – sexy viola – music in general (4 entries) – jazz music – guitar music – disco music (2 entries) – piano music (3 entries) – gongs - an orchestra – church bells (2 entries) – wind chimes

Feet walking (2 entries) – finger tapping – peeing – farts – clapping (2 entries)

Dogs barking (5 entries) – cat’s meow – my rooster crowing

Breaking icicles – crackling fire (2 entries) – waves crashing on the beach (8 entries) – snow falling – waterfalls – thunder – rushing water – river rapids – babbling brook – gentle rain – rain in general (2 entries) – rain on a tin roof (2 entries) – wind (2 entries) – wind in the trees (2 entries) – leaves rustling – crinkling of leaves – crunchy leaves (2 entries)

Train whistles – Harleys/loud motorcycles (2 entries) – airplanes (2 entries) – jets flying 

Coffee pot brewing – pages turning when you read – clock ticking – a baseball being hit – record player crackle – writing on a chalkboard

Everything (3 entries) – all of the above {from the bottom of a column} – silence {huh?}

The following I could not read due to the handwriting but the words look like…dubstep, welson’s, and crating

And the entries of those who did not read the entire question before answering….baby giggles – my children’s laughter – laughter (2 entries) – husband breathing – whispering – movie theater

The above are some pretty creative choices. I did observe several people not write down their idea because somebody had already listed it. Please don’t let your choice not be heard, multiples are welcome, this activity is intended to get you to think and to see how others think. The best part is watching people contemplate and discuss among themselves. The annoying part is when unattended children start scribbling on the board or writing obviously inappropriate things just to be funny. A really attentive parent would read the question to the child and ask for a thoughtful answer and also venture a dialogue on how it would make the child feel to not be able to hear.

The boards are closed for January, as is the wishing fish, because the gallery is closed for a few weeks over our winter break. Look for the energy to continue as we make our mark at the corner of 4^th and McKinley when Margo Miller will be our feature artist opening Saturday, January 24th at Journey Art Gallery.

A whole lotta happy!

We cannot escape the happy. Not that we would want to, but think about all the happy that is forced upon us by our own culture on almost a daily basis…and yet many people are not happy.  Our heaping helpings of happy start with Happy New Year, then perhaps Happy Birthday, followed by Happy Valentine’s Day.  Oops, almost forgot to toss in Happy Ground Hog Day (yes there are cards for that). We move on to Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Happy Easter, Happy Mother’s Day, Happy Father’s Day, Happy Grandparents Day, Happy Fourth of July, Happy Anniversary, …with perhaps a break in September unless one wants to wish a happy back to school day to someone, or happy Labor Day,….then back on track for Happy Halloween, Happy Thanksgiving and the bane of us all, Happy Holidays as if we need to encompass any events left off the happy train.

But somehow we are also to be merry….eat drink and be merry…. Merry Christmas (which I personally believed was supposed to be me Mary and Christ that somehow got morphed).  Nobody says happy marriage or happy wedding day, they say best wishes, good luck or congratulations as if the union was a feat accomplished and it comes with a warning label.  We say happy graduation but then wish people luck or best wishes or congrats. As if to say “Yeah, now what are you going to do with your life?”

 

There are lots of happy songs, one telling us not to worry, be happy. Others happy to be alive, and if you are happy and you know it….  Have you ever heard “I am happy to report…” or remember that little cartoon called “happiness is…” which went on to spawn an empire of posters, books and tchotchkes?

Don’t forget the book titles “Happy to be-----“encompassing whatever that author was identifying with at the time. Of course when patriotic moments roll around, good, bad or symbolic, we all stand up and claim to be happy to be an American, which I truly am so I am happy to be on board with that one.

So why do so many people claim to be unhappy? Do they feel some type of pressure to measure up to all this happiness being wished upon them? Are table servers really “happy” to take my order? Don’t you just wish that one time you could answer them with “are you really? Does asking me what I want to eat make you happy?”  Of course then I would probably have to happily excuse myself to the restroom and the hand blower thingy to dry my lap.  That would not be great. That would not lead to my having a great day which is what I hear a lot too. Have a great day! If I do go on to have a great day would that make you happy? Maybe I am only wished a good day by someone who is happy to get rid of me.

Almost missed our custom known happy hour…which is never just an hour… the happy is anywhere from 2 to 6 hours or so with happier prices, happier little foods and maybe happier people (or happy cops).  I guess I should just wrap this up with reminding us all to be happy to help, happy to listen, and happy to be of service which should make every day a happy one for somebody else….oh yeah, Happy New Year. 

Sometimes in rains...sometimes it freezes....

Sometimes what happens to us in real life is way too funny to have been made up. On that note, and by request, I shall now share the “story of Jesus” as it happened to me this past November.

It started with a phrase from the pulpit….”that I do not care if it rains or freezes”…. Spoken by the senior pastor of a prominent church that has graced its corner of a major city for 195 years….  Now if you are of an older generation, you very well may know the rest of the quotation. And if you do, then you know where this post is going and can opt to leave us now or continue on knowing that we are not going to be telling any biblical verse and may very well offend those who lack a sense of humor.  Make your choice now….

So the entire phrase from which came the quote is thus… “I don’t care if it rains or freezes, as long as I have my plastic Jesus, sitting on the dashboard of my car!”  Now I grew up hearing that from my Dad who in turn heard it from his Mom, so imagine the delight in hearing it spoken from the alter itself.  I was not present for this sermon but the reference was related to me as soon as the doors were open and phones turned back on.

The senior pastor and his wife, and others who attend this church were to be my guests at the upcoming Serpentine Table, a mere 5 days away. An idea was hatched. I had to get my hands on a plastic Jesus.

My best bet was to check the local Catholic store down the street. I am not Catholic but still a Christian so I figured I was allowed in. It is a big store. I wandered through items for the car, table ware, books, games, audio things, decorator items, toys and as I told my friends later, a lot of Pope. I was not sure what I was looking for until I found the boxed saints. Now I am sorry if I offend anybody with my next comment, but to me, since they were lined up three deep on metal hanger pegs, row upon row, my first thought was that they looked like action figures. The contents (the Saint) was visible in the plastic window of the packaging. The packaging had images related to the Saint, and a story/description was on the back. I figured I had to be in the right place.

The Saints were arranged in alphabetical order so I naturally looked under the J’s.  No luck. But maybe “last name” first was how I should approach my quest, but nothing under C either. Hmmmm… best to just start at one end and work my way across and down the three panel display rack. Not being Catholic I did not know of any other way to search.  Wearing a skirt, the process of nearing the bottom required me to kneel down on the floor. And there he was…..

At that moment, I kid you not, a very helpful sales lady came over to me and with her hands clasped together, leaned over and asked me “Have you found what you are looking for?”  In my hands is the boxed Jesus….I had just been given the most perfect opening line…. I so wanted to say it…my lips curled in tight and I stifled the urge to laugh out loud…..but I did not. I could not in all good faith reply that “Yes, I have found Jesus.”  A moment passed while I pulled the box off the hook and knowing I had to say something, asked her in the calmest voice I could muster…”Do you know what these are made of?” She replied that “yes, they were resin.”  I smiled and said thank you. In my hands was the coveted official plastic Jesus. So I bought two.

After dinner and before dessert, I made my presentation of the plastic Jesus to our senior pastor (and one for my Dad) who both erupted in fits of laughter as I reenacted my finding of Jesus. But once we all calmed down and the tears were dried, I had to remind him of the best part yet….Christ is resin.

It was a moment that shall live in infamy at all Serpentine Tables to come. God bless you all this coming year.