Wednesday, July 14, 2010

FAO's and A's

Human behavior is quite fascinating. From my floor (I sit down to paint due to a longstanding back injury), I have observed some interesting reactions over just the past couple of days. For example….

People will not come into a space when I am sitting there working, even when spoken to and invited in, they will back away and pretend to find something interesting elsewhere. Even the obvious observation that I don’t bite and you won’t bother me does nothing to alleviate their zoo tour mentality. Nobody event tosses me a peanut either. Maybe I should put out a bowl of candy and a jar for quarters like other venues for feeding the carp at the park.

People who have never been into the gallery before will ask if “we” made all of this “stuff”, stuff being the work of dozens of other artists. Unspoken response…. “No, we just stole it from lots of other places to decorate this big space.”, or…”yes, Monday is glass day, Tuesday is ceramics, Wednesday is jewelry unless we feel like painting, Thursday is welding, but could also be painting and Friday is really painting but could be drawing if it is raining.”

People ask if it is for sale. Hmmm….my unspoken answer to that one was….”No, just grab something and run. We have bets going on which one of us can take you down first as it passes the time.”

I like the question….are these all yours? Okay, do I say “no, the monkeys are off on Mondays and I am filing in, or do I say “only for now, because that big one worth a grand was bought by your wife as surprise so it is really yours!”

Being on the floor, I get the innocent question, “how can you sit like that? “Nice me will say, because of my back. Snarky me wants to say, well first the hip joint flexes so as to allow the spinal column to descend towards the floor. Begin a biped; the knees flex backwards allowing me to make contact once gravity does its thing……”

How about the obvious…”so are you here working?” No, I am dressed in paint covered clothing with a bucket of water and a pallet of paints and the brush is making contact with the canvas so as to demonstrate how art is made for the benefit of those who think we really steal all this stuff.”

“How long does it take to make one of those?” Nice me… (sort of)….2 weeks or so, (but it would be faster if you’d stop interrupting me.) Snarky me….. I don’t make them, I paint them. Some factory in China probably makes them. I just decorate the surface because plain white is so over rated these days.

Do you give lessons? Nice me…not right now, maybe in the fall. Snarky me, no honey, I don’t give anything away. You want a lesson, you pay for it.

On the most recent First Friday, I sat outside the door, across the aisle so as to allow for the maximum number of people in the studio space. I heard laughter and some snorts of disgust, much finger pointing and elbowing of companions. Many flipped through the stacks of prints and then the usual would happen….they walk out the door, look at me with a moment of hesitation, point and say…”you did this! You’re the artist!!” I’d smile and nod, but in my mind were a multitude of snarky comments not fit for print, but perhaps will be for paint. So stop by and please do step from carpet to flooring, it is not electrified…..yet.

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