Thursday, May 27, 2010

Sunshine- the cure for NEOSS

Stuck at home again….maybe we should go back to horses, it was so much easier to keep the engine running and the exhaust pipe clear. The good side to being homebound is that I have time to get done those projects that pay the bills and stop with all the “fun” stuff. It is interesting how people don’t often think of being an artist as being a “real job” unless one is teaching or running a retail venue. Studio artists do have “real jobs” though in an unconventional way.

Wish we could pull the old “will arrive sometime between 9am and 1pm” routine only to not show up at all and have to be called. Then we can say, “Sorry, got too busy and got backed up”. Hmmm….I think we still have those things called “phones” which can be taken anyplace so……….”HI Mrs. K, sorry we won’t be there today, you can go get your car now, which you could not do so as to not miss our call which if you do, we won’t reschedule you for another 3 months, sucks to be you!”

But nonetheless, the time spent waiting can be used to work on a project in progress, that is if I can pass by a laundry basket needing sorted….or that drawer I keep promising to organize……

Of course now that the sun is out again, my severe case of NEOSS kicks in and I have to join other NEO’s and perform the daily ritual which is the only known cure. NEOSS for those who live elsewhere other than northern Ohio is North East Ohio Sunshine Syndrome. It is an illness that requires one to drop everything whenever the sun comes out and the temperatures warm up (the latter part is essential because the sun can be out around here, but the temps are in single digits) and go stand outside. The illness is characterized by a fear that if one does not stand outside and absorb the rays, then the sun will get all ticked off and never come back out again. This is not a sunbathing situation however as that is bad, bad, bad! SPF’s of 15 or more are required at all times so as to not discolor. Treatment for NEOSS involves warming the bones and blowing the stink off as my Grandpa used to say. Frankly, I think that was just an excuse to go sneak another cigarette and eat a donut out of Grandmother’s view.

Now as creative people, we find ways to both be outside and still get something done, but that can lead to yet another pile of unfinished project materials. But being creative, we can also command that “nobody touch that! I am making something…” which does not work for anybody else. Non art people have to deal with the “get your &%* out of the – insert location of choice here- “ directive because their stuff takes up space where my stuff can be. Couple the sunshine with being stuck at home (even if I have a car, it is not the “good summer” car which is currently with son number one who hates the sun and will never put the top down thereby making the car feel very sad and useless and wishing it could be back with momma, but then son number one could not work and work means money and money means he can pay his own rent….then maybe momma can someday get another summer car and …..)Where the hell was I? Oh yeah, back to piles of stuff and unfinished projects in progress (“messes” in the vocab of the uninitiated) which is just another symptom of NEOSS. One can follow the path of a NEOSS victim by the piles of projects left in our wake as we migrate around the house to remain in the rays of the medicinal burning ball of gas.

Today, one is again homebound and the sun will be out. Darn it, I have to go seek treatment once more. Should I miss a day of paying my respects to the Goddess of Glowing Gas, then she might get moody and decide to cry. Crying is not good because it makes my grass wet. Cutting wet grass is a pain. One needs to avoid pain at all costs. To avoid such pain, one has to stay indoors and complete a project. But the forecast is not looking good as far as completing any such tasks therefore, if and when the workmen show up, I hope they brought some ropes and carabineers because the piles are getting rather high.

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