Tuesday, November 17, 2009

I’M NOT BUYING IT! (but I wanted too….)

I hate shopping, most of the time anyway. Shopping for leisure as in just something to do can’t be any more mind numbing. Shopping for something specific is fine. I consider myself a Kamikaze shopper! I know what I want, usually where it is, go in, grab it, pay for it, and leave. So this morning, I want this red dress. It sits in front of me in an ad from a major fashion magazine, current issue, with the store web site on the page several times. Major retailer too so I figure if the item is pictured, the price and brand listed, how much easier can it get? I’m thinking great! I can sit here in my jammies, jump online, type in the info or browse the other dresses, order, click and be done with it. Wrong.

I get on the website…major retailer mind you, go to dresses…..scroll down under brands….nada. That brand is not listed. Are you kidding me? Okay, maybe it is a department and not a brand. So I use the finder service since I know the color, the length, the style and the fabric which should eliminate about 90% of what else is in the dress department and there it should be! Wrong.

No listing. Okay fine, off to “contact us” which gives 2 pages of questions and a link for each one. None fit my question. Go to the “if you don’t find your answer here, contact us”. Okay, click that link and I get a page of FAQ’s….now if my question were frequently asked; do you think this company would still be in business? Let’s advertise an item all over the country in full color, tell you how much it costs, then not really carry it. Sounds like a smart business plan to me, but I am an art major so what do I know. I dutifully click on another “contact us” and get back to the other page mentioned. Fine, guess it is time to ruin somebody’s day. I click on a random question, skip all the “how do you rate…” questions because “you s**k” is not on there, and proceed to type a rant into the box about false advertising. Now mind you, I still want this dress. So I go online to type it into a search engine. Guess the engine blew a gasket because NO dress like this one exists online that I can find.

Now I don’t intend to search on page 104 as I am a three pager when it comes to search engine findings. If something I want is not on the first three pages of a search, I can’t be bothered. That is my equivalent to rack rooting. If an item is too far back on the rack, forget it (unless all the small sizes are gone and one must look to the rear of the rack to see if someone hid one there so they can come back later….yeah I’ve done that, it works.)

Going back to the red dress issue for which I am now seeing red, I will give this Major retailer, whose store name begins with the same letter that stands out in this sentence, about 24 hours to get back to me. Of course, I will probably find it somewhere somehow, try it on, hate it, and return it. You see, I still wear clothes from when I taught school in the 1980’s, things that still fit from the 1990’s and whatever treasures can be unearthed at the local Salvation Army to which I hold a frequent shopper card. The only down side to thrift store shopping is coming across items that I already own. Oh well, the dress was rather pricey anyway.

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